DAY 10: routine

So on DAY 9, I had lost the remaining 0.6 to make up the entire pound between Sunday and Monday; which brought me up to eleven pounds lost. I finally got back on track too. No munching on almonds or bites of pasta. I have been finding comfort in smelling the delicious, fatty foods that I miss. I know, it is as ridiculous as it sounds. And watching other people eat them allows me to live (or rather "eat") vicariously through them. I can't believe it's only been a week and I've already been reduced to this craziness. What will another week do to me?

However, I was happy to break the "less than one pound lost per day" streak over the weekend with a strong 1.2 pounds lost today! The cheating, although VERY small, does make a difference obviously. Today, I had no desire to cheat even though someone's chicken bacon ranch melt from Subway left its tantalizing scent all over the break room today and I almost lost it. UGHH. Even photographs of food get me. Jonathan tells me that the mere thought of food is making him sick and he assured it would be the same for me. I highly doubt it though. My love for food and everything about it overrides anything normal. How do you think I got myself into this mess? All the research, the information and the "talk" about the emotional, psychological, and scientific connections between human beings and food are all true in my case! ALL true. Even the areas people haven't discovered or established a link. I LONG for the delicious sea salt and cracked pepper pretzel bits sitting in my cupboard, the homemade granola, the specialty farmer's market jams sent by my best friend in NYC, the Free Willy sandwich and home fries from Johnny McGuire's, the Gilroy pizza from Sierra Gold, the carne asade nachos from Roberto's..DROOOOOL.

ANYWAY, enough about food. I found that I was very satisfied tonight with just a cup of organic low sodium chicken broth with a few drops of Sriracha (just 5 calories for 1 tsp and 100mg sodium) and a piece of Melba toast! Yummy and filling. I also introduced a little more cardio in my life to expedite my rewards. My choice of poison was Dance Central on Kinect. It was great since I broke a sweat, had fun and went at it for a a good hour so far. Hopefully it plays a big role in tomorrow's ONE WEEK (seven days) weigh-in. :)

STATS: I currently weigh 237.8 pounds. I've lost a total of 12.2 pounds with 62.8 more to go!

DAY 8: a week

10:13 am: Damn it, I lost less than a pound from yesterday. I'm slightly disappointed, however I know that I have made amazing progress since just a WEEK ago so I shouldn't be so hard on myself. It is difficult not to be sad though since I veered off the track slightly and I'll always wonder if it cost me. But I must not dwell on the past! Back on track today and maybe throw in some cardio? I can't WAIT to lose another ten pounds! That will put me back at where I was three years ago - I can finally move on from there and do what I set out to do when I first learned I was diabetic, lose weight and be healthy!

STATS: I currently weigh 239.6 pounds. I've lost a total of 10.4 pounds with 64.6 more to go!

DAY 7: cravings

Just four days of the drops and full hCG diet and I have lost TEN pounds! It's fantastic! What took me a month of dedicated gym time and portion control last April, I lost in less than a week! I hope this momentum keeps up! What's greater is that a few people have noticed and said they can tell I've lost weight and that my face has gotten smaller - THANK GOODNESS. :)

It's just getting easier. However, I am more quick to forget my drops before eating now. And although it has been easier to stay on track and eat the way I need to eat, there are definite urges and desires for certain food items. It takes A LOT of willpower to say NO and walk away from it. I was at my parent's house and there it was, a pizza box with two very large delicious slices of Sierra Gold's Gilroy pizza. OMG, the smell was tantalizing, intoxicating and almost broke me down. ALMOST. It took very part of my being to close the box and put it away. I immediately regretted opening the fridge in the first place.

What's really neat is that I definitely can't eat a lot at one time. I couldn't even finish my lunch again. Still had a few trees of broccoli and a small piece of chicken left. I wasn't completely disciplined today though and I'm very embarrassed. Well, more disappointed in myself. I know that it really wasn't bad, but I have been SO good this week with making sure that I didn't wane at all and then comes evil Saturday. I was hanging out with my nieces during the afternoon and of course, I had to feed them "real" food since they're only six and nine. I have been cooking dinner for the boyfriend the last couple of nights too and yes, the first night it was torturous, but after that I found my love for cooking again without being bitter. Yes, it doesn't help the whole "OMG I can't control myself around delicious food" thing, however I just love being around food and at least someone else can enjoy it. ANYWAY, so we made this delicious, healthy homemade granola and tomato chicken rigatoni. And, naturally, I had to taste it. I am being completely sarcastic; I really shouldn't have taken so many bites. Granted that I did forgo dinner because I knew I was munching on pasta and granola throughout the evening (I would roughly say five small bites of each, so I didn't go crazy). Ughh, I couldn't help myself! After one bite, it was really hard to resist another because it was SO YUMMY! It'll never happen again! What makes me feel even worse is that those were both filled with CARBOHYDRATES! My mortal enemy.

I knew it was going to cost me, so to make up for the mishap, I did a lot of toning prior to bed. Pilates-style core strengthening, leg lifts and crunches plus upper arm toning with three-pound weights. I mean, I really am going to get in the habit of doing these type of exercises every day anyway since I don't want flabby arms and a flabby stomach (I already have excess skin from the first time I lost a lot of weight). I wonder if that'll play into fat turning into muscle and getting in the way of losing a lot of weight, however I care more about how I look and feel, rather than the scale (although, I love watching the numbers go down!).

STATS: I currently weigh 240.0 pounds. I've lost a total of 10.0 pounds with 65.0 more to go!

DAY 6: it shows

Today became a lot easier. A LOT easier. The hunger is manageable and almost non-existent and the portions are filling. Tonight I diverged from my usual chicken breast and broccoli/cucumber/celery. My mom prepared a slice of low-sodium roasted tri-tip with seasoned green beans. A little more salt that I normally want to consume, however it was so tasty! And definitely helped break up the monotony of my week's meals. I still feel really great too!! I also couldn't believe I lost another 1.2 pounds today bringing up my total to almost TEN pounds! I really hope this doesn't slow down since my mom and Eve, a family friend, could tell I had lost weight! Yay for validation! Really can't wait for tomorrow and I am determined to really keep this going!!

STATS: I currently weigh 240.8 pounds. I've lost a total of 9.2 pounds with 65.8 more to go!

DAY 5: miracle noodles

9:46 am: I can't believe I lost 4.8 pounds today!!! It definitely makes the hunger pangs before bed worth it. Is it weird that I'm still skeptical? Even though it's happening to me and I see the numbers on the scale, I'm in disbelief. I don't think I will be completely satisfied until the end of the week. I've never been one to weigh myself every day since I know fluctuations are typical, however I know that I need to with this particular diet. Therefore, when I weigh myself next Sunday, I will certainly know the results are real.

I do feel really strange right now though. I'm pretty sure it's hunger, but it's unlike the last two days. I do feel a little weak. My energy is still the same, but I do feel kinda wobbly.

11:50 pm: It amazingly gets easier. Plus, the Miracle Noodles have been PHENOMENAL! Extremely filling with endless possibilities. It's hilarious because the only similarity it has to actual noodles is its shape, nothing else. However, it psychologically makes me feel like I'm eating noodles (or more essentially, a starch) and is filling with me with nutritious fiber. It's a winning relationship all around. I had a pack during lunch and dinner (thankfully, my shipment from Amazon only took a day!) and I couldn't even finish my meal both times! A meal that was less than 200 calories - COULD. NOT. FINISH. By the way, the noodles are not the tastiest things on earth and pretty darn expensive, but for zero calories and a FREE food? YES PLEASE. As I was saying though, it hasn't been as difficult as it was the first couple days. Although I still constantly feel hungry. A lot could do with the fact that I haven't been eating my whole meals and I probably should eat more, but I'm simply TOO LAZY.

I have been salivating over food photos..mostly my own. It made me want everything - hamburgers, fries, fries covered with cheese, sandwiches, fried rice. DROOOOL. However, it also made me realize that I have been eating so terribly in the last year! TERRIBLY!! It should have been no surprise to me that I've gained so much weight. I never used to eat like this and at this frequency. I have been eating bad food too often. Overindulging. I've been horrible. No more!

STATS: I currently weigh 242.0 pounds. I've lost a total of 8.0 pounds with 67.0 more to go!