I am so anxious. There's really no better word to describe how I feel about the day ahead. All these questions are swimming in my head: Am I going to feel hungry? Are the drops going to work? Will I feel miserable? Am I going to be strong enough? Will it all feel like enough? Will I be cranky? Am I going to experience the "first day" like everyone else says I will? Then I remind myself, I really haven't been this determined about anything since first discovering I was diabetic in August 2007.
I was so scared. My life would never be the same from the moment my doctor told me the results of the test and what it meant. I was determined to make the necessary changes. With the help of a dietitian, I learned to manage my diabetes plus lose weight (which would ease the effect of the diabetes) and with a lot of determination, I accomplished great feats; taught myself how to eat properly, exercise well, learned what foods were good, which ones were bad and managed to lose over 55 pounds. I feel that same determination again.
So after being awake for an hour, hunger pangs have struck. Aren't you NOT supposed to feel hungry? I'm thinking that I need to administer some drops ASAP and take my vitamins. Green tea, here I come!
10:42 am: So far, so good. I don't know what did it - the drops, the vitamins or the large mug of green tea, but I am NOT hungry and I still feel great! I have also diligently gone through 16 ounces of water already. I'm anticipating the hunger pangs; if it hits, when will it? I am definitely putting off my snack as long as possible.
1:48 pm: Okay, so there were a couple episodes of hunger pangs, but they were surprisingly manageable. I had an apple for my snack and didn't even have the desire to eat all of it or the piece of Melba toast! And I still have my energy (although I am usually overly energetic anyway). Therefore, I think I can safely say that today is going VERY well! Right now, I'm doing lunch of Melba toast, chicken breast and celery. Delicious. This particular chicken breast I bought probably has too much sodium, but I think I'll be okay. I think it helps that I've had to eat like this before and really enjoy these types of foods.
5:46 pm: The afternoon was harder to deal with as far as hunger. I think I'll save my snack for the afternoon rather than the morning tomorrow. Probably the hardest part of this whole situation though is dealing with job-related stress and not being able to eat. Stress is such a horrible thing. It pushes me to eat and it prevents weight loss. Greeeat. I need to meditate when I leave work. Actually, that sounds like a great idea.
10:36 pm: End of the day checkout. I had my dinner of chicken breast and celery and although it was satisfying, loud rumbling emitted from my stomach. Why so many hunger pangs?! Luckily, I had saved my last snack and was able to munch on some strawberries. Hunger pangs are coming and going. Still manageable though. Also, consuming 96 ounces of water proved not so difficult. I have these huge sport jugs that hold 32 ounces, so I'm using them to easily measure what I'm drinking.
I'm excited for a weigh-in tomorrow morning, but I'm also concerned that I gained a lot of weight during my loading days that I haven't accounted. What if my body doesn't respond well to these drops and the diet?
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