7:38 am: I was afraid to step on the scale, but I knew it needed to be done. Down 3.2 pounds. It's not as satisfying or rewarding as I thought it would be. It has a lot to do with the fact that I typically fluctuate between these three pounds, so it could have just been another morning. I know that tomorrow's weigh-in should be more representative of my progress..or at least I hope.
12:35 pm: Hungry all morning. The green tea and apple didn't soften the pangs. I am behind on my second administration of drops and lunch since I was lazy and didn't get out of bed until after 11. Oh well.
9:38 pm: Today was hard. It was difficult to stay on track because I wasn't at work with a schedule. Staying in bed, having lunch late in the afternoon. I had a mishap with my countertop oven which delayed my meal even longer and I was pretty angry. It was definitely the hunger.
In better news, I ordered a pack of Miracle Noodles. These things are amazing - made from Konnyaku, a soluble fiber plant that I actually grew up eating. Some people can't get over the non-flavor and texture, but fortunately for me, I like it! So we'll see if I like these noodles. I also ordered Organic Low-Sodium Chicken Broth, multi-vitamins and a kitchen scale (I've been guessing). Everything will be coming tomorrow and Friday. However, I picked up one thing of Miracle Noodles and broth from Whole Foods to hold me over.
I'm really hoping tomorrow is easier. The hunger pangs are killing me. And I can't wait to see the results on the scale! Ughhh, I need to go to bed.
STATS: I currently weigh 246.8 pounds. I've lost a total of 3.2 pounds with 71.8 more to go!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
DAY 3: 500 big ones
I am so anxious. There's really no better word to describe how I feel about the day ahead. All these questions are swimming in my head: Am I going to feel hungry? Are the drops going to work? Will I feel miserable? Am I going to be strong enough? Will it all feel like enough? Will I be cranky? Am I going to experience the "first day" like everyone else says I will? Then I remind myself, I really haven't been this determined about anything since first discovering I was diabetic in August 2007.
I was so scared. My life would never be the same from the moment my doctor told me the results of the test and what it meant. I was determined to make the necessary changes. With the help of a dietitian, I learned to manage my diabetes plus lose weight (which would ease the effect of the diabetes) and with a lot of determination, I accomplished great feats; taught myself how to eat properly, exercise well, learned what foods were good, which ones were bad and managed to lose over 55 pounds. I feel that same determination again.
So after being awake for an hour, hunger pangs have struck. Aren't you NOT supposed to feel hungry? I'm thinking that I need to administer some drops ASAP and take my vitamins. Green tea, here I come!
10:42 am: So far, so good. I don't know what did it - the drops, the vitamins or the large mug of green tea, but I am NOT hungry and I still feel great! I have also diligently gone through 16 ounces of water already. I'm anticipating the hunger pangs; if it hits, when will it? I am definitely putting off my snack as long as possible.
1:48 pm: Okay, so there were a couple episodes of hunger pangs, but they were surprisingly manageable. I had an apple for my snack and didn't even have the desire to eat all of it or the piece of Melba toast! And I still have my energy (although I am usually overly energetic anyway). Therefore, I think I can safely say that today is going VERY well! Right now, I'm doing lunch of Melba toast, chicken breast and celery. Delicious. This particular chicken breast I bought probably has too much sodium, but I think I'll be okay. I think it helps that I've had to eat like this before and really enjoy these types of foods.
5:46 pm: The afternoon was harder to deal with as far as hunger. I think I'll save my snack for the afternoon rather than the morning tomorrow. Probably the hardest part of this whole situation though is dealing with job-related stress and not being able to eat. Stress is such a horrible thing. It pushes me to eat and it prevents weight loss. Greeeat. I need to meditate when I leave work. Actually, that sounds like a great idea.
10:36 pm: End of the day checkout. I had my dinner of chicken breast and celery and although it was satisfying, loud rumbling emitted from my stomach. Why so many hunger pangs?! Luckily, I had saved my last snack and was able to munch on some strawberries. Hunger pangs are coming and going. Still manageable though. Also, consuming 96 ounces of water proved not so difficult. I have these huge sport jugs that hold 32 ounces, so I'm using them to easily measure what I'm drinking.
I'm excited for a weigh-in tomorrow morning, but I'm also concerned that I gained a lot of weight during my loading days that I haven't accounted. What if my body doesn't respond well to these drops and the diet?
I was so scared. My life would never be the same from the moment my doctor told me the results of the test and what it meant. I was determined to make the necessary changes. With the help of a dietitian, I learned to manage my diabetes plus lose weight (which would ease the effect of the diabetes) and with a lot of determination, I accomplished great feats; taught myself how to eat properly, exercise well, learned what foods were good, which ones were bad and managed to lose over 55 pounds. I feel that same determination again.
So after being awake for an hour, hunger pangs have struck. Aren't you NOT supposed to feel hungry? I'm thinking that I need to administer some drops ASAP and take my vitamins. Green tea, here I come!
10:42 am: So far, so good. I don't know what did it - the drops, the vitamins or the large mug of green tea, but I am NOT hungry and I still feel great! I have also diligently gone through 16 ounces of water already. I'm anticipating the hunger pangs; if it hits, when will it? I am definitely putting off my snack as long as possible.
1:48 pm: Okay, so there were a couple episodes of hunger pangs, but they were surprisingly manageable. I had an apple for my snack and didn't even have the desire to eat all of it or the piece of Melba toast! And I still have my energy (although I am usually overly energetic anyway). Therefore, I think I can safely say that today is going VERY well! Right now, I'm doing lunch of Melba toast, chicken breast and celery. Delicious. This particular chicken breast I bought probably has too much sodium, but I think I'll be okay. I think it helps that I've had to eat like this before and really enjoy these types of foods.
5:46 pm: The afternoon was harder to deal with as far as hunger. I think I'll save my snack for the afternoon rather than the morning tomorrow. Probably the hardest part of this whole situation though is dealing with job-related stress and not being able to eat. Stress is such a horrible thing. It pushes me to eat and it prevents weight loss. Greeeat. I need to meditate when I leave work. Actually, that sounds like a great idea.
10:36 pm: End of the day checkout. I had my dinner of chicken breast and celery and although it was satisfying, loud rumbling emitted from my stomach. Why so many hunger pangs?! Luckily, I had saved my last snack and was able to munch on some strawberries. Hunger pangs are coming and going. Still manageable though. Also, consuming 96 ounces of water proved not so difficult. I have these huge sport jugs that hold 32 ounces, so I'm using them to easily measure what I'm drinking.
I'm excited for a weigh-in tomorrow morning, but I'm also concerned that I gained a lot of weight during my loading days that I haven't accounted. What if my body doesn't respond well to these drops and the diet?
Monday, September 26, 2011
DAY 2: loading..again
My stomach was hurting prior to going to bed and I wouldn't be surprised if it was because I ate so much yesterday. However, the first thing I felt when I woke up this morning was hunger!
I did the drops before heading to work and started with a slice of pizza. Then, a taquito during our meeting and another one a couple hours later. For lunch, I had leftover curly fries, wings, rice and pasta. Talk about loading! People think I'm crazy that I'm on a "diet" and I'm eating worse than I normally eat. I think fighting off people and having to explain and justify the craziness will be the most stressful, not the eating lol.
Well, after today people will really start asking questions. I can't wait for the end of the week already! I should have brought snacks to eat between 3-5 pm, so now I'm rushing home to get pasta and do more fat grazing. Yay.
So, it's the end of the second and (thankfully) last loading day. I finished strong with some Doritos and a slice of cheesecake. Someone help me, I feel crazy and fatter than EVER. I'm very excited about tomorrow. Did I mention that already? I ran to the store for my week worth of groceries. I got individually-packed chicken breasts (conveniently four ounces per pack, however you do need to prepare it on stovetop or oven), broccoli, celery, cucumbers, apples, strawberries, melba toast, organic naturally decaffeinated green tea and sugar-free jello. SUCCESS.
I have never been so determined and excited about an endeavor in a very long time. Thank you Jonathan, I owe you one. :)
I did the drops before heading to work and started with a slice of pizza. Then, a taquito during our meeting and another one a couple hours later. For lunch, I had leftover curly fries, wings, rice and pasta. Talk about loading! People think I'm crazy that I'm on a "diet" and I'm eating worse than I normally eat. I think fighting off people and having to explain and justify the craziness will be the most stressful, not the eating lol.
Well, after today people will really start asking questions. I can't wait for the end of the week already! I should have brought snacks to eat between 3-5 pm, so now I'm rushing home to get pasta and do more fat grazing. Yay.
So, it's the end of the second and (thankfully) last loading day. I finished strong with some Doritos and a slice of cheesecake. Someone help me, I feel crazy and fatter than EVER. I'm very excited about tomorrow. Did I mention that already? I ran to the store for my week worth of groceries. I got individually-packed chicken breasts (conveniently four ounces per pack, however you do need to prepare it on stovetop or oven), broccoli, celery, cucumbers, apples, strawberries, melba toast, organic naturally decaffeinated green tea and sugar-free jello. SUCCESS.
I have never been so determined and excited about an endeavor in a very long time. Thank you Jonathan, I owe you one. :)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
DAY 1: loading
It's harder than you would think. It's nearly painful. Forcing yourself to eat and binge. Eating the foods that you really enjoy and usually can't enjoy, now being shoved down your throat. Just had two crunchy tacos from Taco Bell WITH cheese, something I haven't done since 2007. It was delicious, but after 20+ ounces of steak and a large potato for lunch, it was only slightly enjoyable. I even had a can of Sprite and a bottle of Gatorade, two other items I rarely consume. Earlier today when my blood sugar was probably very low and I could have eaten an entire cow, binging on my favorite fatty food seemed like heaven. I was ecstatic. I was daydreaming about how I would eat this and then eat that. All with a big grin on my face. Yeah, it has only been six hours and I want to stop eating.
The drops are very managable. When I first smelled it, I was reminded that I have a difficult time being near any type of cough or oral medication (Tums, even Pedialyte). However, once the initial sting of the active alcohol in the drops wears off, it almost has a bit of a fruity aroma. Plus, most of the formula absorbs under your tongue before any of your taste buds touches it. I did find that you need a mirror to see the drops since it's hard to tell what you're dispersing based merely on feeling.
Next, I'm on my way to eat delicious, fatty pizza. My theory is that you'll be so sick of having to eat ALL this food in the first two days that you don't even want to be anywhere near it while you're on the diet. It's all psychological. It has even convinced me that if you "load up" properly, the first couple days with the 500 calories will be easier. At least I'm hoping!
My choice of poison was Sierra Gold's Gilroy pizza. It would have been so delicious had I not been so full. I also had a few strands of curly fries with ranch. Fat on top of fat with a side of fat. Blehhh, I feel pretty disgusting haha. No worries though, I had water. I couldn't do another soda. This isn't me.
Right now I don't feel so hot, but I'm sure it's the "meat sweats" and probably the fact that it's also 85+ degrees on an autumn evening. Gag. Here's to another loading day tomorrow.
STATS: I currently weigh 250 pounds. I have 75 pounds to lose to get to my goal of 175. :)
The drops are very managable. When I first smelled it, I was reminded that I have a difficult time being near any type of cough or oral medication (Tums, even Pedialyte). However, once the initial sting of the active alcohol in the drops wears off, it almost has a bit of a fruity aroma. Plus, most of the formula absorbs under your tongue before any of your taste buds touches it. I did find that you need a mirror to see the drops since it's hard to tell what you're dispersing based merely on feeling.
Next, I'm on my way to eat delicious, fatty pizza. My theory is that you'll be so sick of having to eat ALL this food in the first two days that you don't even want to be anywhere near it while you're on the diet. It's all psychological. It has even convinced me that if you "load up" properly, the first couple days with the 500 calories will be easier. At least I'm hoping!
My choice of poison was Sierra Gold's Gilroy pizza. It would have been so delicious had I not been so full. I also had a few strands of curly fries with ranch. Fat on top of fat with a side of fat. Blehhh, I feel pretty disgusting haha. No worries though, I had water. I couldn't do another soda. This isn't me.
Right now I don't feel so hot, but I'm sure it's the "meat sweats" and probably the fact that it's also 85+ degrees on an autumn evening. Gag. Here's to another loading day tomorrow.
STATS: I currently weigh 250 pounds. I have 75 pounds to lose to get to my goal of 175. :)
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